Confessions

The way he smells drives men crazy. I am constantly wet whenever I think of him. He is beautiful and beyond sexy. Qhy is it so wrong? I’m married and he is my lover. My husband is my security, my lover is my lover is my excitement in life. I spend everyday thinking about both of them. My lover has even made our sex life better, I feel sexier and younger. If this is wrong, I don’t care.

My life is a never ending chain of failures. Everything I touch gets ruined, stained if you will. I hate myself for it. I don’t just hurt myself with my failures but those around me. I am so tempted to just end it all. I could get up and go down the hall. There I would find everything necessary to end it all. I am truly scared of what I am thinking. I am trying to get through this, but truthfully, this might be my last communication to the world. If it is, I just want to say that I’m sorry everyone.

He never tried to have a sexual affair and neither did I… we are guilty of something but not that. Well unless you count the time he “accidentally” brushed his knuckles against my ass as I was walking by, using his broken foot as an excuse for flailing his arms… maybe that was an accident, who knows. But no, it was nothing physical, it was all in the eyes and in unspoken words, something only we understood… until I told the wrong person and that person figured out what we were doing. He knows what he saw, those things I thought was just my imagination… he saw it happening. To tell you the truth, I don’t think either of us even thought about having an affair… I think we both knew that was the wrong choice in this situation from the start. I never meant to fall so hard for him… but to tell you the truth, I have never been able to look in someones eyes the way I could look into his… the feeling it gave me was exhilarating… a feeling I was lacking in life. But, other than a few friendly hugs, nothing else has ever happened. No phone calls back and forth, no texts back and forth, nothing… we were on our best behavior when it came to that as well. We are not talking… the only time I see him is when she lets me and lately him and I seem to have had a fallen out, he won’t even hardly look at me anymore. But of course I was used to him having his eyes on mine most of the time so I guess I might miss that a bit… yes I am guilty of enjoying his attention. I enjoyed playing back the memories until I remembered. It drove me crazy at times but it taught me a lot. I know what I know, but I don’t know how this story ends. And I am sorry if me opening my big mouth , causing this avalanche ever happened… I just thought it was what I was suppose to do… I was guilty of being overly emotionally fucked by him and I didn’t know what to do.

My ex boyfriend and I stayed in a dead-end relationship for too long because we had amazing sex. We have both moved on, but just had a conversation about how we would absolutely hook up again, regardless of our relationship statuses. This makes me feel like a bad person……and completely turned on.

You are a pathetic, useless fucking idiot. I hate every fucking thing about you. You have a personality that makes me want to squash you under my shoe like a bug. I hate your voice. I hate your face. I hate how you have no life skills whatsoever.
You are just annoying and it’s sad. It’s sad how oblivious you are to the fact that your personality is revolting. I feel sorry for you. I cannot wait to not know you.

Every time I think things are ok, I realize they’re not. You’re still talking to ‘her’, you’re going to continue to talk to her and not only do I not like that, I deserve better. Now I realize that, yes, the minute I get enough money, I’m leaving you. And that’s the ONLY thing that’s holding me back. I love you but what’s that got to do with feeling like shit all the time? In fact, I’m just going to step out of the way and let you two have each other. I’m sure you’ll insist that’s not what you want; but in all honesty, if I was what you want, you wouldn’t be talking to her knowing it makes me uncomfortable. You do it BECAUSE you know it makes me uncomfortable. You get a kick out of being ‘naughty’. Well, it won’t be naughty if there’s no one you’re betraying, now will it? I hate you. Here you are complaining that you’ve never trusted anyone and also saying I am someone you see as being able to trust because I’m a ‘good girl’. But in the meanwhile, you’re not going to be trustworthy yourself. It’s still going to be ME not being able to hang out with friends I’ve known for 20 years because they have a penis while you chat up an ex-girlfriend that you wish you had never given up. Well, I won’t stand in the way. And that will upset you. Look, all you want me around for is the familiarity. I’ve already talked to you about this. So now I guess I will talk to HER about this. And you’ll hate me for screwing up your mojo but I feel like doing it. I don’t know what will come of it but you’re not going to play me. Hope that addiction to being naughty was worth it. I’m a good woman, R. But too good for you and I need to be with someone who deserves me. Or just go it alone- because it’s better to be alone than in bad company. And you’re not good company. You make me feel like shit.

“Stupid worthless pyscho insecure lying bitch of a whore that no one loves” Thankyou AJ. I cry every night.

When I am really sad, I need to distract myself. I watch disturbing movies on Netflix, and then I find I can’t get my mind off them. It works, either temporarily, or permanently.

Mysterious Skin was my first. It still haunts me.

It’d be a good idea to quit. I’ve never liked it and now that I have job experience I could probably get hired somewhere else. That stuff that went down in January still bugs me, it’s hard to work with someone and put on a smile when you hate the person. It’s good practice for all the lying I’ve been doing lately though. And the other thing isn’t good. I’m getting tied up into all the drama and I don’t want it. Why can’t these people act their age? If it wasn’t for me being guarenteed a job with our company when I go to college I quit as soon as I could. A couple people are awesome too but it’s just crazy.

It’s like my mirrors are possessed. I can look in one a certain day and think, “That’s not a bad face,” but the next day I’m convinced that nobody not deformed has ever been uglier.

Im a big time lesbian.Ok not so experienced but thats really not the point behind love. These gop fxck faces with their ideas and rules to make women their property scare me. Its not about abortion, its about votes to you. Its only obvious to people who know you cant stand a woman having freedom and power over you ( you the kind of jerk that cant fathom compassion. So lets get this strait. Americans politicians now have the right to make a victim prove their innocents in a rape or incest situation?If you get your way… Do you hear yourself? Do you wanna be raped???? Doubt it. So why is your proposal leaning on calling the victim a liar? You men wouldnt get it if it happened to you. You would be pissed and you wouldnt probably be cheating on your wives, and using your power, and money to dominate our country. Ill never be pregnant more than likely unless i was raped. You gonna store the files on us girls and use them as a dirty rag mag when youre bored and empty?

When I was in 6th grade, beaten and worthless and unable to bear the pain anymore, I promised myself that if by the time I graduated high school, I had not yet found a reason to make life worth living, I would kill myself.
I was young and hoped that there was something still in store for me, that maybe I could find my adventure, like the ones I always read about me and during the time between the painful present and the hoped for future, I comforted myself with the knowledge that if my life proved to be one of alternating moments of mundane and pain, it could easily be ended by the light press of a knife to a soft neck. I was soft, and always being bruised, even the words bruised.
But things got better, I never had my adventure, but I became something that resembled happy. I decided that I wouldn’t off myself, that there could be some pleasures in living. That maybe there was still a chance of finding fulfilment and fun even in adulthood. For what now feels like a brief moment, I wanted to live.
But now that old me is returning as my day of graduation grows near. What is my reason for living? What’s the point? It’s not so much as a desire to die, but an indifference to living. There doesn’t seem to be anything worth it. I can’t feel my heartbeat. Good me wants to believe that a future I can enjoy is right around the corner, all I have to do is be patient and keep trying, but the broken girl I never quite resolved my issues with is telling me the knives are right down stairs. It wouldn’t hurt for long, and you always wanted to sleep forever.
I wonder which I’ll choose?

i left my secret in a postsecret book at borders.
posting my secret online and writing it on paper are totally different. it is kind of freeing to know that someone will eventually find it.

I am glad you have your friends and would never want you not to have them in your life. It just hurts like hell that I will never be good enough to be one of them. It even feels like you rub it in my face sometimes. I will be so glad when I don’t have to see you anymore. Give me a reason to hate you – I sure as hell don’t need to love you anymore. You make me feel worse than he ever did.

Fuck. Can’t a person fucking confess on this site anymore without some fucking cunt ruining it?

I “treasure” the news emails you forward my way every day. They keep me updated on the world events. In all honesty, it would be hilarious if it weren’t so sad. That’s all I have left to hold on to. News Emails. Pigs will fly the day you address one to me directly. Life is strange (and I still miss you).

today i celebrated my 20th birthday i wished to marry her as i blew out the candles. i know i’m going to marry her. we love each other so much and i didn’t think this kind of love would ever find me.

I’m proud of how deeply I love and care for people.

Is it so difficult to tell me that you love me? Or do you just not care enough to say it to my face?

I’m a really good and interesting person. I love myself.