Confessions

You broke it off with me thinking you could find someone better. You tried other men, you tried women, you even tried online dating sites and the results were the same everywhere you looked. Nobody else wants you. They don’t want to put up with your selfishness or your laziness. Now that you’ve been through all of them I see you are trying to be nice to me again. Do you honestly think I’d get back with you as the only one that will put up with your shit? Not a fucking chance! Don’t embarrass yourself by even trying.

Sinead, I really really love your hugs and am going to miss them sooo much

I cut everyone off. I won’t let anyone hurt me anymore. And its working. I was born alone and I’m going to die alone.

I’m on the verge of a major change in my life, and I’m scared as hell.

I masturbated whiling thinking about hentai.

E. i miss you 🙁

i spend so much time and energy thinking about you and i cant get over it and it completely fucking sucks. we were good friends who ended up messing around and now im lucky if you hold up a text conversation with me. i fucking hate beign the desperate one. why cant i get over you

Im sorry for being cranky all of the time. I know its not your fault for me being ill. I promoise not to push you away anymore. <3

Im becoming who I’ve always hated. And I love it

You told me you felt something back then… I felt that something but not back then, I was too young to understand what I was feeling back then.

There was something there… I felt it that day you had to stop by while I was there to get you a j… and you left quickly afterwards. I felt it so strong… I shouldn’t think about that either, right?

I never thought it’d be this hard to talk to someone. And even when we do talk or interact it’s like nothing at all. Maybe I’m looking for something that isn’t there, and you’re doing the same. Guilty as charged?

I just wanted your companionship, and nothing more. I know I’m so much older, I know I have few appealing qualities, I know you’re married. However, I know you aren’t happy at all, I can see it in your eyes, I’ve seen that look in other people so many times in the past. I’m not that happy myself; I thought we could help each other deal with it, if only for a few days. All I wanted was to be around you, know you better, have fun with one of the most interesting, eccentric people I’ve ever known. When we went on the trip and you wouldn’t talk to me, it hurt me in a way I haven’t felt in a lot of years. I felt embarrassed and ashamed for what I said, even though my intent was pure. I gave you a taste of that in return a few days ago, but no more; I’ll always forgive you for anything. I just wish you could see me for the close, loyal friend I can be.

If he can’t be my friend then I don’t want her as a friend either. I can’t hang out with her and it be so awkward between you and me when she brings me around you… I know she trusted me and she had my trust, nothing ever happened. But sometimes I think she is testing us… and I am tired, I just want to live one day at a time with where I am until I can figure out what I am going to do next… I don’t know where these wings will take me. I don’t know… I just don’t know.

I’m putting this out in the ethos/universe/world….I need some good things in my life. I need positive things to happen instead of negative ones. I need a run of good luck and fortune. I don’t mean to be greedy or selfish, because there are millions of people who are worse off than me, and who probably deserve much more than I do. Still, I’m asking. It’s something I need, something I want, something I have to have if I’m going to survive this year. I’m so drained and tired and depressed, and I really want that to stop. Can I have a little something sometime? If you don’t ask, then you don’t receive. I’m asking, with all that I have, can I please catch a break?

E. i wish *i could be* the girl you want. 🙁

Thanks for breaking my trust. Thanks for sending us back into the dark ages every time we make one inch of progress.I realize: you don’t want to be in a relationship with me. You don’t want to ‘have a life’. You want anxiety. Chaos. Drama. I thought men were supposed to be the rational ones and women were supposed to be ‘overdramatic’. Yet here you are in your mid-thirties playing games like you’re still in jr. high. I’m too old for this shit.

I will never love someone like I loved you ever again.

I can now say i’m finally over you and am happy and in love. You really missed out, he’s happy now!!! 🙂

im sorry that things arent what we wanted them to be. i know you dont like me anymore than I like you. Im wondering how long either one of us are going to put up with it…whos first.