Confessions

People must tell you that you’re a hot piece of ass every fucking day, because it didn’t faze you at all! I essentially just told you that I want to screw you senseless, and you laughed, said “thank you”, and went back to whatever vitally important thing you were doing on your cell phone. I needed a reaction, not a “thank you”! I said something bold, because I wanted a bold answer! “Thank you” is not a bold answer. Think it over; maybe after a while you’ll realize that I need to know if you want to screw me senseless too!

You all forgot me.
Back story: I am a stage manager at my theatre, I call all the shots during the show and a lot of over junk, let’s just say I’m important to the production.
We finish our performance, I stop to get some feed back from high influence people, I go to our green room after and find them all posing for a picture for the paper. Once I walk in they all realize I’m not there. But had I been two or three minutes later hey would have forgotten about me.
So, in short I want to tell my cast and crew to fuck off because they forgot me. But, on the other hand I want to tell myself to fuck off because I’m not memorable enough for them. 🙁

Was it all a game to you? If you ever cared about me, I wish you’d tell me the truth. I wish you would tell me you communicated with me through your profile and I am not crazy. Then at least then I know I was worth something to you and not a mere thing you could toss away so easily. I am going regardless, I just wish you would tell me.

I will miss you so much.

Kudos. You’ve made me doubt myself. Not much, but a tiny smidgen of my self-assuredness has been chipped away. I feel like my advantage is starting to slip ever so little. I feel like I’m deadlocked against you, and we just circle each other repeatedly until someone gains the upper hand. Maybe you’re just playing my sympathy, but I can’t let you know it might be working. Something has to give, and I can’t see it being you. I can’t see it being me either. Unless it is me.

I know when you get that look, you’re somewhere else. I know that place is warm and happy and far different from this one. I know it’s where you can be yourself. It must be freeing. The thought of being away from here.

But as someone who wouldn’t be here. Not just in this place but in actual existence… Let me say thank you.

Thank you for doing the hard thing. For holding to what you were raised on even if it wasn’t the right thing to do.
Thank you for being the man you never wanted to be.
Thank you for having the life you never really wanted.
Thank you for believing for just a few years that what you were was wrong… You should know you’re not. You’re wonderful and you’re perfect.

But I wouldn’t be here if that self-loathing had never existed.

I know you resent my existence. I know I’m a physical representation that you never got to be with someone you really cared about. Thank you for being with mom. Thank you for marrying your best friend instead of looking for the love of your life.

Thank you for being my father. Even if it was too hard to be my dad.

For that alone, I will be grateful.

i know suicide is selfish. But sometimes i think its the only thing ill ever do for myself.

I like girls but I gave my virginity to a guy when I was 14.
m/16

Im not good at being popular. I hope my wife will still love me after 7 years of bordom.

sometimes I think about becoming bulimic again

I fantasize about being a prostitute sometimes and giving blowjobs to and sleeping with a lot of perverts.

i think im addicted to gay porn…
im a girl

I just…I want to ask you about it so bad…but at the same time I think it would be far too painfully embarassing for you to discuss with me…so I won’t ask…but, I really, really want to…

It is of a sexual nature…I have not experienced this kind of thing before…in my population sampling of two…yeah…

I hit the lottery! (metaphorically speaking) You are my kinky sex GODESS. Our friends could never imagine the stuff that we do behind closed doors.

When you Post on Facebook attempting to garner Friend support, and thereby votes, for your child entrant in “‘s Cutest Baby Contest”, not only will I NOT vote for him or her; I’ll also think less of you for 1.) thinking that your kid could actually win, and 2.) pandering to the masses to waste their time, as you would your own. Quit it.

I miss my best friend…..it was never just an affair to me…you were my world. It hurts to know you convinced yourself that it was anything less than love…i love you t.

When I was little, I was molested by my father. My mother knew about this and didn’t do anything to stop it. I didn’t think it affected me because I seemed to have grown up normally. But I cry, a lot. Sometimes over the smallest things, sometimes over nothing at all. There was one time I remember in particular where I cried and even acknowledged how silly it was for me to be crying. I assumed I grew up normally but I have a very hard time telling who cares for me or not.

About 3 months ago, I did some unspeakable things to my boyfriend and he won’t listen to anything I have to say. Once it sank in that he wouldn’t listen to me, I cried the hardest I’ve ever cried. It annoyed my mom. She came into my room and told me to shut up. I tried to tell her what happened, she screamed it even louder. I don’t quite know why, but I then blurted out that I was molested. My hands were covering my face at the time. She grabbed me by the wrists and pinned me against the wall. I can still smell her breath from when she smoke. “Shut the fuck up,” she said. “Get over it.” I stopped crying immediately. Ever since then, I haven’t had my regularly scheduled bouts of crying. What used to be so easy to do is now impossible. I can’t cry, I can’t smile. I can’t feel anything. I have no feelings of anxiety, nor of vengeance, nor any kind of sadness. I do wish I was dead, though.

This morning, I saw my mother crying at the door. She was crying over some man she had over last night. I told her the same thing she told me that day. She threw a book, a vase, and a lamp at me so I ran away. I’m writing this from the library right now. I’ve been thinking about what I did for a while now. I guess I was somewhat hoping that I had feelings. I only realized while I was checking GroupHug that the only reason I told my mother that is because I swore I would tell her that when she’s down. I thought I did it because I wanted revenge, but I don’t feel satisfied or unsatisfied. I still want to die. I don’t know what I’m going to do the rest of this day or if I’ll live.

I thought I was over you, and I believe that I still am. Still, I got infinitely depressed when I saw your status:

“I have a wonderful boyfriend.”

I then began remembering the times during which you said that about me…

I really want to love someone…to be in love..There are a few girls that want to spend their life with me…But I don’t feel the same. One of them is my best friend and she is REALLY GREAT in so many ways, really, the best! But I don’t feel like she’s “the one” for me. I’ve never been faithful in any relationship my whole life, I don’t know if its my flaw or because I’ve never been in love, but I believe the latter. I don’t want to grow alone, but IDK…IDK…

too fat for clothes, too disgusting to leave the house, too selfish for friends!!!