Confessions

When I said til death do us part, I meant it.

My boyfriend of three years that I have been friends with for even longer proposed to me and I said yes, we have a great relationship, but recently I ran into my highschool crush during my lunch break at work. I think he knows I really liked him in highschool. That like extended into college. For the last week I’ve been dreaming about him, and I’ve even fantasized that I should get him alone and confess to him what I’ve been dreaming, so that I can kiss him. I swear to god this is no reflection of my feelings for my fiance, it’s just something that has never gone away. I feel like I could kiss him just one time, like a kiss goodbye. I know it’s a fantasy but I feel SO GUILTY for even THINKING it! And I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I should just suppress it, and ignore it, or if I should talk to my fiance.

I should have listened, your gay. Now I don’t feel guilty at all for my past, in fact I feel completely justified!

When are you going to kiss me? you know Ive been waiting for quite some time now.

why’d you yell at me I did NOTHING wrong.
Sad thing is you abuse me constantly and i still am madly in love with you.

Just when I think we have nothing you say that you are becoming a better person just because I am here. I almost believe it.

My horoscope tells me I am falling desperately in love. Oh. Dear.

This is an abusive relationship. Period. Why, God, are you leaving me in it after I have prayed and prayed to get out? All I need is the money I keep telling you. If you think I need to be here, what about the damage I have suffered? How will that ever be fixed? I don’t want to be THIS. I don’t want to be eaten up in bitterness. THAT’S NOT ME. This is not healthy. Why do you keep putting me so far away from everything that matters to me? It’s like just because I won’t destroy myself, I keep ending up in situations meant to destroy me. It’s stupid that it comes down to money and a car. Just how am I supposed to ‘escape’ in a town this size and this far from everything without either?

I love how incredibly stupidly ingenious my peers (college students) can be. Some of the things they do is hilarious!

I wouldn’t have fallen in love with you if you hadn’t sat in my car and said you would marry me if you could. If we both weren’t married. If we both weren’t women. You set something off in my brain that night. The margaritas unlocked what you had been feeling and since then you’ve locked it up tightly away. But I’ve wasted the whole last year of my life on that one night with you. Now that I see you for what you really are, I can’t help but feel so disconnected from you. And yet I’m still holding on to that night.

Going on this board has become a secret pleasure. I’ve always been a voyeur and at first I wanted to read people’s dirty secrets…but so many people are in pain and frustrated, it breaks my heart. There is so much loneliness!

I’m kind of using GroupHug now as a meditation on how to be kinder to people. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT EACH OTHER IS GOING THROUGH, DO WE?

So be kind, someone needs it.

i hate COry Church

I don’t know what you want from me. Sometimes I think you want to see me suffer and get your revenge. Other times I think you want my heart forever. I keep giving you chances. Now I think you want me to go away because you found someone, It doesn’t matter if you have or not, I am leaving.

Every-time I go outside of my apartment I imagine I’m the lone survivor of the zombie apocalypse.

Why why why do I ever get my hopes up for you. It’s just nonsense and disappointment.

You dont know how scared ive been or what i put myself through you dont know anything. How could you know, you left and you never really came back, did you? NO YOU DIDNT

I want my pussy licked so bad right now. SO BAD.

Metaphorically speaking some of these really hit home HARD. Hope you all find your answers or at the very least some inner peace.

Things are so crazy with us right now and I just want you to hold me. I don’t know where any of this is going. I feel closer to you but scared out of my wits. I want to believe you and I can’t. There’s the way things are and the way I NEED things to be; to be happy, to be healthy, to be okay. I’m scared.

My ex boyfriend probably slashed my tires but I still want to be with him again