Confessions

I’ve never been happier than I am now.

I want to cut off all my relationships, and I’m successful in cutting some. But now, I really don’t know anymore. I’m only 8th grade, I shouldn’t worry about things nearly as much as I do. But I feel so aged, I want to feel like a teenage, not just act like one. I’m so misunderstood, so lonely. I’m worried, but I can’t tell anyone. No one would listen. Apparently, I’m too young to feel pain. I feel it. I feel it so much. But this, I can not say to anyone.

i had to take a moment to put down what i feel. i miss you. the real you. the kind, gentle, affectionate, loving you. i miss your hands on me and your breath on my neck. even though we see each other i miss the intimacy we shared. we were complete, you and me. we were magic. im still in love with you but i love myself more. i wont let you hurt me anymore. i deserve better than crumbs. you once told me to never make someone a priority when you are only an option to them. well, i have made you a priority, but you are now treating me like an option. i will be here for you if you need me. you are my best friend and i am yours. im sorry for hurting you. so very sorry, but you can not punish me anymore. i am in love with who you were and how you made me feel and you are not the same person anymore for me. once your arms were a place of refuge and now you hurt me. ill never be able to tell you goodbye in person, so this will have to do. true intimacy can never be replaced with “safe”. im letting go T. i tried so hard, but when i left your house last night and looked into your eyes i realized that i could no longer see the man i fell in love with. im here for you…just not as your lover anymore. thank you for waking me up and setting my soul back on fire. thank you for your love. im eternally grateful to you. i wish you all the best in life and love.

I really like you. You say you like me too. I think we could work really well together. You’re all I could look for in a guy. I don’t understand why you are distant – I’m not needy, I’m just interested in you. Realise that I’m a good guy, and I can do right by you, you deserve it.

But I don’t deserve how you’re treating me. Man up.

i had to take a moment to put down what i feel. i miss you. the real you. the kind, gentle, affectionate, loving you. i miss your hands on me and your breath on my neck. even though we see each other i miss the intimacy we shared. we were complete, you and me. we were magic. im still in love with you but i love myself more. i wont let you hurt me anymore. i deserve better than crumbs. you once told me to never make someone a priority when you are only an option to them. well, i have made you a priority, but you are now treating me like an option. i will be here for you if you need me. you are my best friend and i am yours. im sorry for hurting you. so very sorry, but you can not punish me anymore. i am in love with who you were and how you made me feel and you are not the same person anymore for me. once your arms were a place of refuge and now you hurt me. ill never be able to tell you goodbye in person, so this will have to do. true intimacy can never be replaced with “safe”. im letting go T. i tried so hard, but when i left your house last night and looked into your eyes i realized that i could no longer see the man i fell in love with. im here for you…just not as your lover anymore. thank you for waking me up and setting my soul back on fire. thank you for your love. im eternally grateful to you. i wish you all the best in life and love.

Post script: I just said out loud the words I would say to you if we did meet up, about everything that’s happened, and to my surprise it helped, no flickering cursor or blank font to weigh it down. I hope I do have the chance to say those words to you one day.

We’ve been going out for over a year now. I thought I new she was the one. Last summer we felt so close together, it was unbelievable. But now, I’m not sure anymore.. I feel we’re growing apart.. I actually have a bad habit of cheating.. and I think I’m doing it again, as much as I hate to admit. I’m really not sure.. maybe she isn’t the one…

I’m over my crush on you. Sorry I kissed you. I do love you. You’re a part of my chosen and spiritual family. Hope to see ya soon cause I like hanging out with you.

I have been with my girlfriend for several years. Recently we moved in together. She is pretty, smart and the best friend I’ve ever had, but it’s becoming increasingly obvious that I no longer love her romantically. Or at least I don’t right now; over the course of our relationship I feel like I go through phases of either extreme (I know, I know, I sound like a dick).

Anyway, she has this friend who I think I have a crush on. I haven’t had a crush on anyone in years–this girl makes me feel like I’m back in junior high or something (I’m in my mid-twenties). Objectively, she is not the most beautiful person in the world, but I feel an inexplicable attraction to her. I think she feels something for me too, but it’s impossible to say if that’s just wishful thinking. She (the other girl) has a boyfriend, although they haven’t been going out very long. The kicker is that I quite like her boyfriend, although sometimes I get the feeling he doesn’t trust me around her (good thinking, mate).

Given my living situation, the multiple relationships, and what this would do to our group of friends, it doesn’t seem like there’s any real possibility of us getting together. On the other hand, just yesterday we hung out alone for the first time. I half wondered if we’d start making out during the awkward pauses in conversation, a la Jerry Seinfeld.

I am starting to become distant with my girlfriend and don’t feel good about it. I don’t have anyone to talk to about this; at least, I wouldn’t feel comfortable talking to anyone who knew everyone involved. I’m not really sure how I would have it all go down anyway. As I alluded to, my girlfriend and I have made a whole life together at this point and I’m not sure what would be left in the aftermath. Likely I would have to leave this city entirely, which would be a damn shame since I love it here, and I’d never see either girl again.

It occurs to me that my subconscious may just be dreaming up an excuse to leave my current relationship, since other than this one thing, everything seems to be going swimmingly between us. The truth is, this crush is one definite source of feeling in my life, which I usually just numbly bumble through. Although I feel myself pulling in multiple directions, it’s exciting and interesting at the same time.

Part of me thinks that if I just hook up with this girl once or twice (read: cheat on my girlfriend), I will get it out of my system, but a more rational part of me knows that’s bullshit.

We (both couples and almost all my friends) are headed out this weekend to do MDMA together at a massive party. Wish me luck!

It’s a good thing for my boss that have two things “against” me: a conscious and fear.

I really wish my side business would be successful. I wanted so badly to save myself from the anxiety, misery and stress of working full time. Just a few sales a month would help SO much…

Come on.. why can’t this work?

I know I shouldn’t love you. You love her… or maybe another girl. I’m not sure anymore. If there’s anyone you really love, it isn’t me. You’ll hold me, cuddle me, console me through my manic-depression, but you won’t love me. It’s always this platonic relationship that I can’t stand anymore.
I know I shouldn’t love you because you’re moving far away and you’ll probably stop caring about me soon enough. You’ve got a future ahead of you and I can barely see past today.
You’re beautiful, though you hate your body.
I want to kiss you, but you’d never let me. After all, you’re in love with another girl or two or three…

I’m 21 years old. Seems like everyone I know is in a relationship or getting married or having kids. It makes me sad. I wish I had someone to love and them love me back. But then again, who am I to say? I barely started college and I don’t think anyone would want to be with me because I am uneducated. Makes me sad even more. It’s not that I don’t want to further my studies, it’s just that, with not having a job or money, it’s kind of hard to make ends meet. I think I will be single in a long time time, and this scares and saddens me.

I was drunk tonight and trying to joke around – no one ever gets my sense of humour, least of all you, which is my fault entirely. I was thinking that this is probably the most fucked up situation I’ve ever been in that I’ve not known how to deal with. My coping skills are second to none, but this one has me stumped.

Any residual anger I have is down to the fact that you still seem to hate me, despite the fact that I can forgive you and perhaps even understand why what happened, happened. I’m not the victim and neither are you.

I don’t know why I’m still here, arguing the toss, I really don’t. Maybe because I do remember what happened. Doesn’t stop me hating myself and swearing off this sight for life.

Texted him. He barely responded. Makes me even sadder. I know it’s over. I wish it wasn’t.

I’m really annoyed with my boyfriend constantly playing the victim card. He’s 35 and claims that he has had just the roughest life because his parents got divorced when he was young and he’s had girlfriends in the past cheat on him. At first, I thought those girlfriends were jerks. Now I totally get why they cheated. All he wants to do is play stupid video games. He works a job he hates, but refuses to do anything to better his situation – I even put in applications for him at other places, places that he’d actually like to work at, but instead all he focuses on are his stupid video games. It’s unbelievable. But when I try to help him with his situation, it’s all “whoa is me, my life is so awful, you don’t understand, video games are the only thing that help me escape from my awful life.”

Well guess what, you can’t live in a fucking video game. So get your head out of your ass. If your situation is so miserable, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Stop your fucking bitching and complaining and whining about it. And don’t accuse me of whining and bitching – if I complain, I DO SOMETHING TO FIX THE PROBLEM.

He’s never been married, and if he keeps this shit up, he never will be married.

the feeling you give me makes me sick. it makes my eyes water, and it makes me want to kill myself. i haven’t even lived long enough to know what love is. i haven’t lived long enough to realize that people DO care. i never really felt or had a real family. my sister tells me how inconvienent it is that i was born. im sorry. for everything thats ever made you unhappy with me. pathetic confessions on “grouphug.us” will only know my true feelings. i wonder how happy you would be if i did kill myself, beck.

You are an absolutely HORRIBLE person. I have tried my hardest to reach out to you and make you feel comfortable, but you have manipulated, lied, cried, and hurt too many people people in my family. You have taken away his child and have bitter thoughts in your head about me. Instead of nodding politely I wish I could throw back all the heartbreak you have caused right in your self-righteous face. You are not the kind-hearted “hippy” you believe you are. You have slowly spun yourself into a downward spiral and I will never hold out my hand again to drag you up again.

fuck OFF. i’m not perfect, i didn’t want you to kiss me, i don’t fancy you and we’re NOT seeing eachother. We will NEVER have a relationship. You’re the nicest person i’ve ever met and I CAN’T STAND IT.

I really dont see much point in continuing with life anymore.
I can’t see myself being happy in the future. I’ll probably get a 3rd on my degree and get a job i hate that just about pays the bills.
I’ll probably marry someone out of desperation and i’ll never have the time and money to do all of the things i wish i could do.
I failed my first year at uni and now i owe the council a lot of money. Unfortunately i busted it all on drugs and alcohol.
I’ve been sober for a week now and i’ve quit smoking. I’m determined to get a job and i’ll make my way through all of this.
But what’s the point?
People say things could be worse. I could be some starving kid in a 3rd world country.
But I’m not. I’m just someone that wishes he could start again.