Confessions

I’m so glad you called me tonight. I miss you across the 200 miles.

The girl I love is Caucasian and really pale and I’m Hispanic and dark. I love her so much but I’m afraid that the only thing keeping her from liking me back is my color.

I really don’t want to hear from him again.

I am going to cheat on husband and I don’t think he would even care anymore anyway.

I can’t let you in…even though part of me wants to, you’ll only end up hurting me again. I can’t bring myself to see you let alone talk to you. What would I say? what would you even tell me? I still love you(even though I’m sure you question how after everything)I can’t forget you, even though we’re apart your in my thoughts, and dreams it gets to me and I find myself in tears. I have this anger towards you as well, I wish I could feel peace, be happy and not so lost(you took apart of me with you).

Even though I don’t like to admit it… I guess the way things are now is for the best…:'(

i’m in love with my best friend but i’m too afraid to tell him because i’m afraid he doesn’t love me back

a couple of years ago, me and my best friend were spending the night at my house. We were playing a game, and decided to make wagers on the races. We wagered blow jobs.
Honestly, I lost on purpose, and made bad bets on purpose.
I was curious, and had an attraction to him.
we never talked about it again, except once.
I put my feeling behind me, accepted that you were unerringly straight, had a girlfriend, and that being your best friend was not worth risking for a fools hope. I rarely thought about it till recently. and now i regret not being honest with you.
I’m not attracted to anyone else, don’t have much of an urge to be intimate with others, but you’re the exception. I wish we could lay down together.
I think I love you

One day, when I was still in Junior High School (late 1960s)while I was walking past the woods, I heard a bunch of voices in the woods. I snuck in, hiding from view, to see what was going on. There was a bunch of older boys loitering and goofing off.

After a short time I realized their attention was focused on an area of the ground blocked partially from my view by logs and bushes. Soon it seemed that there must have been a girl on the ground there and they were taking turns with her. I did not hear her make any sound, but it was clearly what was going on.

I wanted to go over and stop the boys from what they were doing, but there were 8 or 10 of them and they were all older and bigger than me; I was too afraid to confront them.

I was also very afraid I would see the girl and that she would be my sister, disgracing herself either voluntarily or under the influence. This was a terrifying thought that was more of a deterrent to intervening than fear of the boys.

Reluctantly I decided to leave. It was such a long time before I got home that I figured everything was long over, so I did not mention it to anyone; until now.

I remember it so clearly, it is as if I am watching it all happening in front of me right now.

Whoever the boys and girl were, I hope they have all recovered from that evil event; especially the girl.

he took advantage of my most pure and innocent love, crushing my understanding of this world. Then I took advantage of yours, trying to bend the laws of the universe to his standard.
I. am so. sorry.

i like a girl but i am too afraid to tell her. very cliche, but it is important to get it out somehow.

Many moons ago my cousin walked in on me wearing my aunt’s underwear and makeup. I must have been a boy of six or seven.

She died several years ago. I hope she took the secret with her but I’m sure she told her sisters.

i just ate half a pint of coconut ice cream and some spinach with oil on it, followed by a fruit smoothie.

i ate these soft, lubricated foods so that i could purge them immediately after. i stepped on the scale, saw the weight after eating, purged, stepped on again….two lbs lost.

getting better at just not eating.

i need help.

I really want to e-mail you, but I know I shouldn’t. I need to be strong. I need to keep on pretending that I’m over You and that I don’t miss You, but the truth is, I do. It was always about You!

Rip the stiches out of your lip. I need to hear you. Take off your sunglasses Im not that bright.

I dreamt last night a friend of a friend were sitting in a room talking and mike starr walked in then out of the room with a packaged braunswieger cut in half chowing down on both parts. Wierd and just well, what???

I cheated on my exam by copying my friends scantron. My teacher graded my test and noticed I had the right answers but in the wrong spaces. oops. So, she was giving me a second chance. Here’s the kicker, when I was making my second cheat-sheet my other professor caught me! fml now i have to confess to my prof’s and parents.

I’ve wanted to kill myself for six years now, but I never will because I’m too pussy to do it. But I want to do it so badly. Oh well.

I met you at the absolute worst time of my life. I was at our friend’s house, half naked on their chair, sleeping. You just stood there staring down at me, with this look of pure lust and desire… You looked so strong and sexy and so much like everything my ex-husband wasn’t. Yet you made me think you weren’t interested. And now, well…

6 months later and I still feel the same about you. My heart flutters when I’m near you, I get tingly and long for you when you touch me. You getting undressed to climb into bed @ night is the high point of my day. Its been 6 months, and yet it feels like only yesterday.

I’m 4 months gone with your children… Twins. You’ve been more excited about these two completely and utterly unplanned and surprise children then my ex ever was about ours. You’ve accepted my children into your heart, stood beside me in my divorce, helped me to fight for custody of them. You love me, our unborn children, and them almost equally.

Now, we struggle to find a new home, to find work, to pay the bills. But we struggle together, and you are there for me.

Which makes this confession so hard for me. How can feel this way about you knowing that I’ve slept with your best friend? Not just once, but four times? And that even still, given the opportunity, I probably would again?

I’m sitting in a Sam’s Club parking lot downloading porn.

How the fuck did I end up here?

I had another dream about you last night.It felt so real. You were my teacher again.In my head I was thinking that you were going to call my name out then the next mintue you did. I dont know why you did,but you did. Then you went to writing bands down on the board that we both like. It’s like you were teaching the class about music. Or something which is kind of werid becuase you teach Math but back to the dream. At one point, you pulled out your guitar and started singing and it felt like you were only singing to me. It felt like the whole time you were looking at me. I dont know what song you were singing but it amazed me. Yeah, you dont have the best voice in the world but it’s just cute. & it felt like the whole class knew that I really liked you. Or they seen something between us they way we looked at eachother.
I’m glad I keep having dreams about you becuase they are the closes thing I have to you. Eventually, those will fade and I dont know what i’d do. I miss you so much,Erik.

-Nikki