Confessions

I find it odd how many of the confessions here could apply to me. It’s scary, sad, hopeful and motivating, all at the same time.

I met you on the internet. i think about you way too much. i still remember what date i met you, and i wanted to ask you out less than four days after that. I’ve never seen you in person. You say you’re into me too, but I can’t bring myself to believe it. I’ve known you for less than a month, but since I’d only known you for ten days, I’d been worrying more and more about if I would start to feel like I loved you, and that’s starting to become way closer to reality than I ever wanted. You’re literally the only person in the history of time to reciprocate any sort of feelings for me that I have for you. I hate whatever sort of power there is in the universe that thought it would be hysterical to put us close enough that seeing you would be a possibility, but far enough that it’s not a probability. I over-think everything you say and do and think too much about everything I say and do towards you, and the fact that we’ve stopped talking at least once every day scares the living hell out of me, even though even saying that in my head sounds so obviously like something so stupid to even remotely care about, especially given the fact that I’ve only known her for just over a month and a half, purely over the internet. Mostly, and this may be misogynistic or sexist or some sort of fallible view, but I feel like it’s stupid for me to be even feeling this many things simply because I’m a guy, thinking about a girl this much. I hope to god that you feels for me even the slightest fraction what I feel for you, but I have no idea how that’s even possible because of just how damn cute and amazing and adorable I think you are.

I have tons of friends, but I don’t think any of them would listen to me like I do to them. I feel so cold.

I love you. You torture me every day and I don’t understand why.

You just got a new girlfriend. That makes it so much harder to tell you that you got me pregnant… I’m going to the clinic alone.

I really wish I had gotten to be graduation speaker.

I’ve had my eye on you since last semester. You’ve eased your way into my heart two months ago. You’re now dominating all my thoughts and I don’t think I can function without knowing. So, please tell me soon. Should I wait or move on? One clear signal is all I need. I’m on the brink, I can feel it.

Who’s in control here? I’m conflicted inside. Stop sending me mixed signals. I think it’s obvious I like you. It’s your turn to show me. Open up, I don’t bite. Promise. Or, if you’re not interested, care to tell me? I need to incentive to stay, stagnancy gives me reason to move on.

You will never know what you got yourself involved with because you are too…what? Timid, cowardly, intimidated…? Who knows…you missed out big time.

if I ever hit the lottery, I’m moving away, changin my appearence and name, and never talking to anyone here ever again. And no, I won’t feel guilty or miss them, not even for a second.

i made her scream today… and i plan on making her scream even louder on thursday ;]

I fucking hate everybody. Id do anything for anybody but when I need some help, its too much to ask. and I’m sick of catching people in lies.

I’m cold because you are a pussy that leads me on but can’t make a stand.

You piss me off.

I still don’t know how to live without you.

you kind of, sort of, pissed me off today.
stop doing that. no one likes you when you force them to do things they don’t want to do. your job isn’t to delegate tasks. your job is to motivate others into doing what YOu want them to do, and if you can’t do that, leave them the hell alone. do you hate me? are you doing this to me on purpose because you don’t like me? you’re sucha bitch. NO YOU CAN’T USE ME AGAIN.

JUST BECAUSE I’M NICE DOESN’T MEAN YOU CAN STEP ALL OVER ME.

i really didn’t like what you did today. it reminded me of all the things i hated about you, and why it’s so important for me to not get close to you.

no one really likes you, y’know. they just tolerate you. and the closer they get to you, the more they see through the facade you’ve made yourself believe you were. that’s why they always come to ignore you.

it’s only a matter of time. i wish you’d stop doing lying and manipulating others. i like you so much better when you’re kind, but you always transform into this offensive bitch. you put others down to make yourself feel better, or you use them to make yourself look better. you used to do that to me all the time. you used me, my skills, my friendship, you used me as a stepping stone (stepped all over me), but you really brought out the worst in me.

i can’t trust you at all. and i really dislike people like you.

You are so cold to me. Do you not notice? Or do you just not care?

I need more fucking money. I just want to do this for my sister, it’d be so damn awesome. Money ruins everything.

I think I’m fucking cursed.

I’m builtt. I have a big ass and tits. my hair’s always perfect. my eyes are green, blue, hazel, yellow. tall..kinda skinny I guess..compared too how I used to be. my lips are like angelina jollee’s twins.

I’m loud, outgoing.
down to earth.
funny as fuck.
laid back.
open minded.
artsy as fuck.
if I hear anything on the radio with techno and high pitch squeeling behind audio voice..I turn that shit off.
I prefer nirvana and to get the led out daily.
I’m just a cigarette, pot smoking, crazy ass, fun, bitchh.
I don’t own anything pink. get the fuck over it.

AND I’M A VIRGIN.

EVERY SINGLE GUY I’VE EVER LIKED or “had a thing with” has NEVER stuck around and left me for someone else..someone who’s uglier or skankier or just..more disgusting.

I’m never the one leaving them. not because I’m desperate. because I settle alot..and I’m respectful enough not to break someone’s hurt and try to make it work with them..

I don’t understand it..
what the fuck is wrong with me?

I’m just as good as them..if not better.

i avoid the gym so no one will see i cut, yet i cut cause i think im fat….