Confessions

Watching my boyfriend’s best friend roll a blunt turns me on more than anything he has ever done to me.

I’m afraid of life outside the walls of academia.

Why is money always the bane of my existence? I have £10 to live on for a month, and despite thorough jobhunting, nothing’s coming up because I’m qualified for nothing.

Text me back already damn it. Or just tell me I’m cut off, which I know I’m not because that look you gave me when I was in that outfit. If I don’t get to see you over spring break out of work I will be pissed.

Sometimes it feels like I don’t have any friends besides my boyfriend and I kind of hate that.

It’s been almost 4 months since you left me and I’m still as fucking pathetic as I was the day you told me it was over. I fucking hate you, i hate seeing your fucking face. When I see you smile it makes me wish I would have fucking killed myself months ago. Yeah I’m a little fucked up in the head, but I’m not the only one. I just don’t believe you lied to me so many fucking times. The worst part of it all is that I believed every fucking word you said. I listened to you and thought maybe you were being sincere and then a week ago I found out you were full of shit. You are a fucking cunt for all of this shit. I just you don’t end up as hurt as I did. On the flip side, Karma’s a bitch and I hope you get what’s coming to you… what you deserve. All I ever wanted was for you to be different. For you to care about me as much as I did you. For you to be the person I could wake up next to every morning for the rest of my life. It’s too late for that now tho, you’re off being a fucking slut and rubbing it in my face every chance you get. I just wish I could disappear so I don’t have to see you or ever be reminded of you again. I wish I had the balls to just blow my fucking brains out so I don’t have to deal with the bullshit anymore. I wish I never made the mistake to fall for you, you fucking whore.

I’m excited about the future now that the chains are gone.

I love you t. I hate to see you miserable. Goodbye my love. My angel. My best friend. You know how to find me if you ever check back into life. I miss who you were. Who knows..maybe one day you will remember love and intimacy and how good it feels to be raw with someone. A million kisses is not enough. All my heart was not enough. Goodbye love. I hope you find what your searching for.

i want to see him dead in front of me.

I hate my husband. He has done some horrible things to me. Things I’m even to ashamed to say. I want him gone. Forever.

My mother infuriates me. I feel guilty about it. I really want to just cut off contact once I move out.

It’s time to start being a man, a good man. I’m tired of using my youth to excuse my absolutely irrational choices. The fact I’m aware of this makes that excuse completely void.

I truly want to live for others and not myself anymore. This is the first time I’ve ever entertained that idea and felt a rush of relief come over me. I think things are finally going to start getting better.

Nothing could ever bring back someone you lost, but I can start living like someone who made it though because I DID.

In the most unselfish way possible, I am going to start taking myself seriously.

And that shit about having to love yourself before anything else? Learned it in the hardest way. Never forget that lesson.

I always said I wouldn’t. He always said he wouldn’t. He put it in my ass. We can’t tell anyone, we promised, so i’m telling you guys. Then we did it right afterwards… while im on my period.

Right now, I hate women. I have been stood up and ignored too many times now. It’s all my fault, all of it, but it doesn’t make me less angry with them. My patience is wearing so fucking thin.

I have sinned against God, my family, and my wife.
I have committed adultery
I feel so ashamed of my behavior, it was lust not love.

How long does it take to get over someone that you shouldn’t have been involved with in the first place? How did I get myself into this!?

I thank god that you’re gone every day. And those messages that you leave, begging for a call? They make me laugh. They are the highlight of my week. Why? Because for once the tables are turned and you are the one pleading for mercy. Even when I feel at my worst, I smile when I realize that at least I don’t have to end my days by seeing you. I relish in the fact that you don’t have a home or a job. That you are falling down that bitch of a black hole that I like to refer to as “Karma”. Alcoholism does that to a man, you know? So, in celebration of your misfortune, I’m going to take long hot bubble bath and delight myself in the fact that you don’t have running water. I eagerly await your next call. Ciao!

I hope you’re in Canada right now.

I want to live distantly vicarious through you. Nothing else. No strings attached.

No emotions.

So stop trying to draw me in.

It’s simpler than that.

Just
exist.

I had the one thing that everyone in life wants, true love! It was actually like living in a bubble of love, nothing else in the world mattered! She would do anything for me and I fr her! So what did I do? I went and smashed it all to pieces because of my insecurities about my own persona and because of a shallow attitude about looks!
The woman in question was an angel, her very name lifted my heart and started my head swirling! It was an instance of ‘love at first sight’. Now I was wrong because when it started I was with a long term partner but this woman took me and made me into a man again, actually she made me feel like a god and it wasn’t just the sex! I left my partner and moved in with her, we had the happiest time, days, weeks and months passed and life was the best! Then I started to see the wrinkles in both the relationship and her, I have this fear of waking up with someone who looks old! I know that’s stupid and I honestly don’t know where it comes from. So instead of working it out what did I do? Ran to the arms of a younger woman, just flirts and texts but it was exciting. As it went on I began to feel contempt towards this woman I had fallen in love with for getting older, she still filled my life in every other way but I couldn’t see past the signs of age!
Needless to say I lost her, I broke her heart and for that I should be eternally damned! And inevitably like a guilty man I blamed someone else, I blamed her!
So I confess I was wrong, I am shallow, I am trying to change! But until that day comes I just want to say “I’m so, so sorry V” N x

I totally don’t get this brain training app I just got. I mean I don’t get the concept. I’ve lost so many brain cells it’s pathetic.