I’m going through a pretty bad time mentally.
I have issues with boundaries of myself, and who I am, and who other people are.
I am what some people describe as an empath. although I dont believe in rubbish like that, I do understand that it is how you are brought up and the events in your life that make you dependant on others emotions and able to feel highs and lows in other peoples emotions.
It’s messed my life up as it made me have some crazy beliefs.
Its all because someone treated me abusively for a long time in my late teens.
It gave me a pattern which i didnt even know i had and has caused alot of damage to myself now, and hurt other people too.
I cant cope with other peoples negative emotions, it makes me an emotional wreck as i feel it with them.
i dont know who i am, i dont feel normal, i feel pretty messed up.
i just want to feel cared about, so i can pass on that care to other again.
if people hate me, i only feel their hate, and i am no use to anyone.
i hate being wired like this in my brain. but actually, knowing you can feel others emotions means you can be a better person and make people happy too.
im not sure id want to change it, but right now, i cant cope with how it has made me feel.