I hold so much inside that it’s beginning to kill me. I dont know who my father is. My mom was married to a man who turned out to be a horrible guy. He dealed and did drugs, cheated on my mom, and tried to kill me and my brother (he threw my brother down the stairs and knocked me off my changing table when I was a baby.) I’m almost positive he is my father. The thing is, my mom says she injected herself with sperm from her previous husband who died (she likes to think that he is my father.) Either way I dont have a dad. The thing that kills me is that since my “dad (the one my mom was married to)” did bad things near where I live when we moved back here my mom did not want the name to follow us around. So, we used her other husband’s last name. My friends know me as one person when in reality on all legal documents I have a totally different last name. I havent talked to my “dad” in many years and I tell everyone he is dead. My mom told me I had to (when I moved here in 3rd grade) Living this lie kills me.