i feel so bad about myself i think that sitting around drinking and watching tv and eating comfort food just keeps me in a convenient comfortable state of inertia. i mean why try changing if the future is so fucked and full of the potential of failure. yeah yeah we all do what we know and what we’ve learned works for us, but really how much of the time does anyone really get what they want from trying? i end up getting dissapointed and rejected 90% of the time, so losing faith in the whole process of trying to improve and change. my confession is that i feel i am doing nothing to improve the state of things that upset me, and that I may actually find a predictable comfort in doing nothing.