I met you. Fell in love with you. My first. I love you, and I know you love me, but I’m not so sure you love me the right way. You are too selfish my darling. You think of your own wants rather than my feelings. You brush aside the fact that I am still trying to cope with my past. Its been two years dear; I dont think you are ready for this, for us, for me. You need someone who is okay with what you do, I am not and never will be. My heart aches and my mind is conflicted terribly. I look at you and it torments me inside, even though I smile, because I know that my staying is just me trying to force us. This isnt real love, this is selfish love and fear. I am afraid to leave you because I do not want to expirience that pain of a heart broken for the first time. I am in my twenties, I thought I had waited long enough to mature well enough to avoid that pain by chosing the right man…I guess I’ll soon know the pain of what nearly everyone else goes through…
