I will never understand why you chose him over me…after I bore you my soul and took the biggest risk of my life in doing so. You picked someone you’d never ever met.
I will never understand why you refuse to love me…even though I’ve loved you more deeply and unconditionally than the everyone else that you’ve chosen over me.
I will never understand why I am not good enough for you.
Why won’t you just…love me? Just love me.
I want to hate you so badly. I want to say fuck you, and go on with my life as though nothing has happened. But I can’t. I can’t because, my heart dies a litle more everytime I think about you. I can feel part of it fall off and die and that hurts more than you could imagine. And I fell this pain more than any person should.
Is it that I’m not pretty enough? Because I will gladly cake on as much make up as needed for you to love me. Is it that I’m too fat? I’ll starve myself…for you. Do you not like my hair cut? I’ll grow it out. I will do anything for you to love me even just for one day.
I could show you that there’s someone who will love you and not leave after just a few months. I’ll love you with my actions and with my words.
I want to show you that love doesn’t always have to hurt.
…or maybe it does and you are showing me that…
