When I was 3, I put a pillow on my little brother’s head because he was getting more attention.

Later in life, I ‘experimented’ with my friends when they were asleep. I was in fifth grade.

Then, I moved away, and tried to have sex with my 3 year-old male cousin. I almost comitted acts of incest with my little brother (we didn’t have sex). I looked up gay porn on the computer all the time. I experimented with another boy my age in seventh/eighth grade, and never told my parents.

In tenth grade, I met two girls I never should have met, and betrayed my best friends. Then, I myself was betrayed by the two girls, and they know that I’m gay, and basically hold my life in their hands.

Now, I am 16, never been kissed, a virgin, slightly overweight and ugly, have crushes on several guys, including my best friend, and a few of the closest people around me diss homosexuals all the time, not realizing that they’re hurting me too. I have contemplated suicide and am almost constantly depressed about my homosexuality.