My life is pretty screwed up right now…hope you have some time to read.

After a failed relationship with my former fiance, I met a guy who seemed to be super great. He was the sweet type…always had some flowers in hand or some sort of surprise to show me “how much he cared.” We had a wonderful relationship for some time, but as the months went on, he seemed to exhibit more and more psychotic tendencies. I eventually grew pretty scared of him and ended the relationship. Well, needless to say, he didn’t deal with this very well. He stalked me, my mother, my friends, my sister, and even business associates. Only a month after our separation, he raped my younger sister, who was a completely innocent young girl. Of course the guilt I felt was immense. I later found out that she was pregnant with her rapist’s (my ex’s) baby. This was a devestating blow to my family. Only two weeks after my sister found out the news, my ex turned up dead. He had been murdered. I had nothing to do with it, but I am scared someone in my family may be the true killer. I don’t know who, but I just know if it was one of them, it would tear my family apart even more. What makes it even more complicated is that my mother thinks that my sister had an abortion, but she has decided to keep the baby. She doesn’t know how to tell mom, and neither do I. Every day I hate myself for bringing this hideous monster into all our lives. Perhaps I should go in the garage, shut the door, turn the car on, and end the pain once and for all.