Yet again i screw up, i have the ‘job’ i have a decent bf, well i did until i let my insecurities get to me, now im pushing him away, who can blame him? I cant, im the screw up, whos too demandimg, too depressive, too stropy, who cares too much, im the one that moved away and screwed up the one chance of getting back to my bf, so that i actully got to see him, to spend quality time with him. but i failed as i always do. I miss him like mad, he tries so hard well he seems to try, but its never good enough for me, nothing ever is, I want it to be perfect. I adore him but i have a resistance to really let him in, i want to, but i push him away and test him and i cant stop myself. Im losing him and hes the best any bloke has ever been to me. why cant i just get a grip?
