I’ve never had an orgasm in my life, even though I’ve told both of the people I’ve slept with that I have them regularly when I masturbate. I am in love with the guy I am sleeping with now, but he has told me that he doesn’t think we could ever have a relationship, but I keep fucking him because it seems like the closest thing, and I keep hoping he will change his mind. When he goes down on me I feel so guilty and worried that if I don’t come he won’t be satisfied that it’s usually a totally asexual experience and I enjoy it vastly less than I say I do.