i started dating this guy, who is nice. he told me his ex has cancer and he’ll have to see her. i said i understood but i just said that because i felt i was supposed to. in reality i really dont care that much about him, and plan on just messing around until the year is over and i move away to grad school. i also really don’t care if she does die either, i’ve seen pictures of her and she’s better looking than me. i’m almost glad she’s dying. i know that makes me sound terrible. i want to rub it in her face that i’m dating him because i’m jealous of the relationship they had. apparently it was really intense. before i dump him i’m going to make him fall in love with me even more than he ever was with her so i can feel better about myself.

i think i’m going to hell….