as a young child, I was “abused” by two boys, both younger than me. i was afraid of them. they were both a lot stronger than me and had the ability to kick my ass. i blame myself because i didn’t stop it. sometimes i cry about it. sometimes i want to kill myself. i’m 18 now and never been kissed, never even held hands with a guy. i don’t even like to be near guys, even though i want to be. it scares me. it makes me want to cry.