when i was 6 i thought i was supposed to be a boy. i would cut off all my hair and wear my dad’s ties. i didn’t understand why i had sexual urges toward a nun at my preschool even though i didn’t know what sex was. i started killing animals to get out my anger. then it turned into a perverted obsession. i tortured and killed birds, rodents, squirrels, raccoons, and cats for about 10 yrs. i even masturbated over their open carcasses. i’ve never felt bad for this.
now i’m 20 and i’m ‘out’ and everything, but i’m always attracted to younger women and i think it’s because i feel i can dominate them easier. i’m involved with a 16 yr old and i’m the first woman she’s fucked. she trusts me and i like to pull her hair and bite her a little too hard during sex. sometimes i ask her to choke me while i get off. her blue eyes look so innocent when she looks at me and it reminds me of a bluejay i shot when i was about 10. when it fell from the tree i walked over to it and it was still alive, just wounded. it was looking at me and moving it’s beak as if to say ‘help me, im dying.’ i heard its skull crack when i stomped on it’s head. and i liked it.