Tomorrow is the 2nd anniversary of my marriage ending. Well, technically it ended when the divorce was finalised a little after six month ater. But you’ll understand if I talk about the 22nd January 2002 as the Day My Marriage Ended.
I thought I would be more upset than I am, to be honest. But it still hurts. Not with a sharp pain, more with a dull ache, the continuation of that feeling I had since the very first day, that something important was missing from me.
Despite having been with another woman for over a year I still think about my ex-wife every day. Sometimes with dissappointment and unanswered questions, sometimes with hurt and anger. Never anger for her, just anger for the people that didn’t help us when they could and should have.
This confession is to say that deep in my heart I know the woman I want to be with, and it’s not the woman I am with, wonderful though she is. Maybe that makes me an awful person, maybe it makes me weak, maybe it proves how much I did love her. Whatever it means I am resigning myself to the fact that this is what I am going to live with forthe rest of my life.