At college, I dated this very hot, very religious, but slightly dim girl. Through reasoned Clintonesque argument and Biblical quotations, I convinced her that if she were to perform oral ‘gratification’ on me it was not a sin as 1) it was not really ‘sex’ before marriage, 2) she would not be impregnated, and 3) my seed would not fall to the ground like that wanker Onan’s. She had sucked me off a couple of dozen times before the college priest put her right. I don’t feel guilty abut this, but I do feel sorry for pretending to be really busted up when she ended our relationship. She was really concerned and used to call me every day to ask how I was and send me cookies. I was fine. In fact, I was nailing an athiest whose only fault was that, unlike my ex, she wouldn’t swallow.
