I have a urinary tract infection that keeps coming back. So far, since November 2010 I’ve taken two kinds of antibiotics. Taking the pills causes horrible nausea and I need to take them for two weeks. Once, before receiving the prescription, I wet myself on public transport. Fortunately, the urine was little and my trousers were dark and nobody noticed. Only one guy asked me if I was okay because I flinched and cursed a little. It was so fucking painful.
Now fortunately I’m feeling much better, but if I don’t hydrate properly, or if sometimes I skip drinking water and drink wine, it still burns like a mother. I called my mother and cried on the phone.
Everything is so humiliating and it won’t go away. I hate depending on toilets, carrying water bottles everywhere, worrying that if I spontaneously stay the night somewhere that if I don’t have a change of underwear maybe the bacteria will get worse.
I just want to be fucking healthy again. Sometimes, I’ll be waiting for the bus and suddenly I will need the bathroom so badly I think I might wet myself. Thank god when I was a kid I went to a Catholic nursery and boy did they teach you to keep it in back then.
The last six months have been so fucking stressful, with college, and moving away from home and boyfriends and all this stupid peeing business. I am so fucking mad and tired. I just want to cry, but I know that I need to go. Go get my tea, go buy pineapples, blueberries, lots of cranberry juice… ugh.
