i sit at home all the time by myself and think about either sex or killing myself. but then sometimes when i think about sex, i compare my sex life to his and i feel like a failure; but i also feel like a failure for every reason. so i’m going to take in all the judgement that i’ve gotten from them and own it. i’m not going to bother trying to fix myself again because it never works. i’ve proven it time and time again that i fucking ruin everything, i cant take care of myself, and i always say the wrong thing. i kind of miss the old me, but then again not at all. im not sure of what i think or feel. i just need somebody to save me, i apparently cant help myself–either that or i hope i just die already.
ps- i know you’ve been lying to me and i’m waiting for the perfect moment to hook up with him behind your back then shove it in your face, since you want to act like such a superior little dumb cunt all the time. you think you’re so smart and tough? call me out on this, i dare you.