Sometimes I come here, write a confession
erase it all,
write another,
erase it, and finnally write a last one and post,
or erase.
This post was originally about how I’m feeling suicidal.
Then it was about my ex girlfriend.
Now, it’s about both, and how I erase it all multiple times.
I do the same thing every day.
I cannot speak to people.
I struggle with unresolved depression.
And schizophrenia that is starting to set in.
I wish I could tell someone about this,
I want to tell someone how I fell, but
I don’t don’t to bother people with my stupid problems.
And I don’t have anyone to care, about my stupid problems.
And if there is nobody to care, about my stupid problems,
then why am I still here?
I’m here, because I can’t do it.
I can’t.
Because, I’d rather deal with all this pain, than have to bother you with me not being here.
That’s it. I can’t kill myself, because it would bother you.
And that simply cannot happen.