I decided not to carry a 4 week pregnancy to term for many reasons. Continuing my college education and financial preparation for raising a child were only two of those reasons. I do not regret this decision but feel silent frustration at an outside world of opinion that wants to bastardize and batter me verbally and socially because I stand with my right to choose. This was a private decision I made with my boyfriend (now fiancée) and my mother (both were prepared and embracing of either decision). I actually dream of being a teacher and I love to work with children – that was a big reason that I knew I wasn’t ready to be a parent. I worked hard to pay for my own schooling, and maintained more than three jobs during the process while earning high marks. I am a peaceful person and I mind my own business, but there’s something that just keeps tugging on my judgement that I have to confess just grinds my gears…
One of my future in-laws is a 17-year-old expectant mother. Her family is Catholic and strictly pro-life but they’re a community of jobless individuals that have no difficulty faking disability and abusing welfare to support their increasingly lazy and dependent lifestyles. This girl chain smokes while pregnant, abused drugs, and just found out that her child will be born with a major deformity as a result. She has since asked for donations in the form of cash and baby supplies from the extended family but she has never had a job and does not drive. This really pissed me off today because daily I am saturated with media and discussion about how poisonous pro-choice is to society and how pro-choice individuals are reckless and malicious in regard to the sanctity of life. I feel so hypocritical for passing judgement on her, but so angry that what she is doing is so much more socially acceptable than my decision to wait, and to do things with the means, and the heart, and the responsibility that comes with parenthood. How is their lifestyle respecting themselves, society, or that child?
There are many people in my area that would sooner slash my tires and crucify me if they found out what I did, but are ready to donate to a family that’s going to spend wheelchair money on cartons of cigarettes and satellite television so the family cycle can repeat itself.
I can’t speak about my decision in a public forum because I could face societal punishment in the form of job loss, vandalism, ostracization, and verbal abuse but this family has one hand on your wallet, and the other in mine, and it’s okay.