I have a crush on a good friend of mine, but he has a girlfriend now (he didn’t when I met him). I know I never had a chance with him, but now it’s pretty much cemented, and any hope is gone (I know he’s the fiercly devoted type).
I also have begun to doubt our friendship, and my friendship with that whole group of people. I really feel like they don’t care about me at all, and after this year I’ll probably never see most of them again. No I’m distancing myself, and I think that they think I’m being a jerk and avoiding them, when it’s really a mix of trying to get myself in a better mind frame and trying to make the seperation when they leave less painful for me.
It all makes me feel like a horrible person, and I hate myself, for feeling the way I do about eveyrthing – about him, her, and everyone. I hate myself for that right now.