She’s the second girl i’ve ever been attracted to. Kinda like confirming my sexuality. We were just friends but now I’m gay too and things got out of hand. She has a girlfriend who she said she wouldn’t leave for me and I was fine with that because we were just having fun weren’t we? I was in too deep then, I had a small doubt in the back of my mind that I was but I ignored it. Tonight we kissed for the second time and she ran her hand up my leg. She also said that I had better not get with anyone at some party and make her jealous, we both just kind of stared at eachother. It was too far. Now everything is her, I notice when people walk the same as her, smell the same as her. We have so many memories already I know its gonna cut to the core when it has to end, because we both now its coming. We’re counting down the days before she moves back in with her girlfriend and our freedom is gone. Even if she did love me back this is crazy. Theres a four year age gap, I’m still at school. Shes changed my morals so now I have this secret life all filled with her, she changes me. I feel more reckless but I feel more free and happy, which is what I’ve always strived for. But when shes gone and I go back home and see the people that have no idea, I’m even more trapped because I know how green the grass is on the other side. Its far from ideal, but it sure is what I wish for at night. Just had to share this whole other side of me with someone (:
