ok, fuck. I know porn isn’t the answer and it won’t fix this. I know its a temporary escape and the feeling is only temporary and thats why I want it. what do i win by resisting? who good does it mean if I’m doomed to sin again? i’m tired of giving a shit about what any of it means and trying to figure out if any of it adds up. this fucking message falls upon deaf ears. i need emotion to function. i’m not a faker. I ‘m isolated and I have nothing more to draw on so the only emotion I can convey in my song is contempt and frustration and negativity of varying degrees. its why everything i say is a complaint or a whine. its why so many of us are on a fucking webpage cryiong out for someone to hear us. a like is not lasting validation. give me god damned connection. I’m sick of dancing around the words. so sick of dancing but the hesitationnremains. I can’t give it all up because i can’t give up who I am. if I’m anything. fuuuuuuuuck, twitch spaz itch cunt fuck. i’d like to punch you in a face and then give you a hug right afterwards. i want you to know why. I want you to see evry reason. thought goes into everything and I cant swoth it off. fuck you again. fuck you as much as i fucking love you. i don;t mean you as you but as fucking everyone. I love people but you’ve left me alone!there is no one who sees me anymore because I have removed muyself. am i growing? is thisfucking balance? where the god damned fucking cock light at the end of this tunnel? and why the fuck do i feel like there will be a new one right after i’m outside of this one?????????
