I have a crush on a friend of mine, but I’m not gay. I can’t stop thinking about him. He’s the coolest person ever. One time he got a mohawk, but he didn’t keep it because it’s not his style, that’s how cool he is. Sometimes I think of getting him drunk on Heineken (his favourite beer) and trying to convince him to make out with me. Maybe if I got him drunk enough he wouldn’t remember and wouldn’t regret anything. One time when we were changing to go swimming in a lake I sneaked a peek at his penis; I couldn’t help myself. All I could think about was grabbing his HMA.
