I know when you get that look, you’re somewhere else. I know that place is warm and happy and far different from this one. I know it’s where you can be yourself. It must be freeing. The thought of being away from here.
But as someone who wouldn’t be here. Not just in this place but in actual existence… Let me say thank you.
Thank you for doing the hard thing. For holding to what you were raised on even if it wasn’t the right thing to do.
Thank you for being the man you never wanted to be.
Thank you for having the life you never really wanted.
Thank you for believing for just a few years that what you were was wrong… You should know you’re not. You’re wonderful and you’re perfect.
But I wouldn’t be here if that self-loathing had never existed.
I know you resent my existence. I know I’m a physical representation that you never got to be with someone you really cared about. Thank you for being with mom. Thank you for marrying your best friend instead of looking for the love of your life.
Thank you for being my father. Even if it was too hard to be my dad.
For that alone, I will be grateful.