I hate myself more and more everyday, I’m drowning in misery and self-loathing. I can’t stop eating. I eat and eat and eat and the pain I feel physically from it is nothing to the pain I feel emotionally. It didn’t use to be like this, I used to eat very little and I would get the greatest highs whenever someone would tell me how skinny I had gotten. Now it’s reversed! No matter how many resolutions, I can’t stop going back to food. I’m gaining weight. I purposely avoid mirrors. I’m just so sickened. I wish I could be healthy, but if not that, I wish at least I could go back to the non-eating stage, because even though I still hated myself, I looked much better.
