My only true confession is the confession of a question I have asked myself for so long. Why is it that no one is attracted to me? Why is it that me, out of all people, has the hardest time making friends? I’m being completely honest when I say this, but I’m pretty. I’m funny. A little off sometimes, but who isn’t. I really don’t understand why I can’t attract any men whatsoever, except of course those that already know me. Why is it that other girls I know are ridiculously slutty, not that attractive, and downright mean at times, can get boyfriends when I can’t. Considering I’ve never had a boyfriend in my entire life, and I’m now in college. All of this is bullshit. The one thing I ever wanted in college was to find someone to make me feel special. To want to be around me all the time, to share things with. I never cared about the partying, or the freedom, because I’ve always had both of those things. The one thing that I want I can’t have, and other people can have boyfriends, partying, freedom, success. In the end, I would really just love an answer to all of the questions I’ve asked. Why can’t I find someone who likes me for me? It’s not asking a whole lot. I’m somewhat picky about the guys I’m attracted to, but not so picky that I shouldn’t be able to find anyone at all. One of the most annoying things about this whole situation is that I think I have too much confidence in myself. Maybe I think I’m too pretty, too funny, too interesting, too nice, and that maybe I think I’m too good for anything. But then I think again and this isn’t true. I have a lot of confidence, but not so much that it would be overbearing to anyone. Every single one of my friends is attractive and funny, but none of them believe these qualities in themselves. We’re all just victims of our own souls. There’s a guy in my class, who is absolutely beautiful. Everything that I know about him (unfortunately from facebook creeping, and just seeing him in class) makes me more attracted to him. He’s interesting in a lot of the same things, doesn’t seem like a scumbag, and he’s older. I love older guys, mostly because all of the guys around my own age are only interested in hooking up, and not actual relationships. Anyways, he is also physically attractive. I’m not shallow, and personality/sense of humor is one of the main things I look for in guys. But physical attractiveness is a plus. He is honestly perfect and I have no idea how to attract his attention, even though I want to so badly. I wish I knew what to do because both of us together would be amazing.
