I forgot to mention that I nearly HATE your friends! They sell you that shit that continues to torment me and push me further away, I hate them. I get nervous when you speak to them and I try to listen in to know what is in store. I evesdrop to hear when the next deal is happening, when you are getting them, when you will change, when you get dangerous and violent…to know when I’ve to walk quietly in a feild of mouse traps around you. You put me on edge. I am endlessly worrying, endlessly nervous, endlessly wondering if my staying is even worth it. I am breaking Love. I have been broken once and you managed to tape me up just a little, but those strips of tape loose their stick and fall off one by one everytime you use. I cannot take much more of this. My love for you can only keep me here for so long. I am leaving in June on a vacation and it will be a test. If you use again while I am gone, I will take it as a sign that you are not ready for us to go any further. I cannot stay if you cannot stop the drugs. I am sorry, and yet I am not…
