I keep finding all these blogs and news stories and lists that spell out the signs of abusers. You are one. Every sign is you. All these stories about how women ‘got out’. About how a lot of them weren’t battered physically but emotionally. That’s you again. I keep thinking ‘yes, yes, I get it’. This is what I’ve been dwelling on in my mind. What I’ve been praying to get away from but no door has opened. I thought if I prayed God would say ‘go’. Nothing. And yet all these things keep reminding me of what you are- what you were- what you have done and it’s like I’m being reminded because somehow I’m the one holding back when that’s not the case. I don’t need to be reminded. I dwell on it. And if I had had the money I’d have left your ass a LOOONG time ago. I would have ran and never looked back. If I had the money now it would mean everything. So I don’t know what all these blogs and news stories and lists on Dear Abby are showing up for. It’s like the Universe is trying to tell me something and I’m like telling the Universe ‘you don’t have to tell me! I already know! That’s what I’ve been talking to YOU about HELP ME’. Still nothing.
