I just walked my drunken mother up to bed. She is a responsible woman and a wonderful mother, but once in a blue moon, she has a bit too much to drink and talks about her dad. She broke off connection from him long ago because he’s a perverted fuck and ruined her childhood. I’m a peaceful person, but I would put a fucking bullet in his head before I had any contact with him.
Anyway, she told me that I may end up being the one who takes care of her when she’s older. She was very drunk and probably blacked out (she kept mixing up dates and ages) but I can’t help but feel like she’s right.
I can deal with her drinking. She has never hurt anyone and is a successful, strong, employed woman who makes a good income. What bothers me is that times like these make me want to go far away when I graduate college. I have a hard time accepting that myself and I know I will always stay in contact with my family (they’re amazing people and I wouldn’t have it any other way) but sometimes I just dream of the day when I won’t have to deal with her pain.
When her fucking father dies (shouldn’t be too long now: he’s been in and out of hospitals for the last year we’ve been told by my aunts) the pain will ease up intensely after a few months of her seeing how she can never rebuild a bridge to that horrible excuse of a man.
Please understand I do not have depression. I am, in fact, a very happy person. This only happens once in a blue moon.
Thank you for reading this.
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While I’m getting stuff off my chest, I’m 19 and have never reached first base.
