The things that hurt me the most, like my self-consciousness about my weight, my lack of a love life, my teetering confidence in my intellect, are also the things I am most ashamed of about myself. I can’t even talk to my best friends about any of them. I just keep it all inside, I can rarely bring myself even to write about them in my private journal. It’s unhealthy but it is a pattern I settled into so long ago, I am afraid it’s become one of those things I just can’t change about myself.
