My boyfriend sucks.
Ok, actually that’s very unfair. He’s kind and sweet and spoils me. But I constantly feel as if he doesn’t respect me: my opinions, my looks.. etc.
I’m not tall and skinny and I don’t resemble a typical college hottie. He makes me feel ugly and fat by pointing out a little bit of chub, a little cellulite, a pimple…
He used to tell me what great legs I had, what a lovely thin waist, compliment me on my full breasts and my round ass. He used to marvel at my hair and my eyes, at my intelligence and creativity. Heck, even I was happy with all of this. But I now it’s like the only I way I can know I’m beautiful is from the effect I have on others. I never have felt so happy notice a boy giving me the eye, a wink from a stranger, a cutie asking for my number, a girl flirting with me at the bar… That’s the only way I can tell I am beautiful because if someone so close to me is so critical of me I MUST be ugly right? He knows me so well.
He used to be wonderful. Sex used to be sensual and wonderful. We used to love each other. But he’s grown depressed and petty and impatient and selfish. He pesters me for anal sex, knowing full well that I don’t want it. Pesters me for doggy style when he knows it’s a position that reminds me of a past trauma.
He treats me like a little child, who doesn’t know what she wants and is always wrong. As if my opinions of the world were incorrect. They’re just my opinions. We used to share them. He’s gone so stale and I don’t know what to do.