I’m dreadfully lonely. I always find myself being singled out in school, at home, and anywhere else I go. At school, none of my friends ever even pay me the slightest bit of attention. At home, I get pushed aside by my two older siblings because I’m the youngest. I haven’t even had a girlfriend in the past year, but I’ve asked out about five girls and been rejected by every single one. I don’t know why it’s all happening to me. Sometimes I even get driven to the point of asking why God hates me or why he would have me be so miserable. The one girl who I am completely sure loves me is thousands of miles away and too old for me to date anyway until I’m older and the age difference seems smaller. While I’m sitting alone in my bed at night, staring atthe cieling, just WISHING that I had somebody to talk to, the only thing I can even think about is how all the idiots in the world who have someone to love or who have friends that really care for them don’t even know how damned lucky they are. Nobody even texts me any more except for my own mother, and that’s only for when she needs me for something. Not a single one of my friends has texted me, messaged me, called me, or emailed me in the last six months or more just to say hey, check out how I am, or start a conversation just because. I don’t even think anyone on this Earth cares about me, and I’m starting to consider suicide as an option. All I have been able to think about this entire year is how much I want someone to love. I don’t even remember the last time someone told me that they loved me and meant it in a serious way. I’m a “sweet” guy, and my only goal in any relationship is to make a girl feel special, beautiful, and loved. I’m sensitive enough to cry to songs that make me sad, and I’ll even do it in front of my friends for all I care. All I want in this life is to be loved and to have someone to love. If I can’t do that, I might as well not even live.
