He never tried to have a sexual affair and neither did I… we are guilty of something but not that. Well unless you count the time he “accidentally” brushed his knuckles against my ass as I was walking by, using his broken foot as an excuse for flailing his arms… maybe that was an accident, who knows. But no, it was nothing physical, it was all in the eyes and in unspoken words, something only we understood… until I told the wrong person and that person figured out what we were doing. He knows what he saw, those things I thought was just my imagination… he saw it happening. To tell you the truth, I don’t think either of us even thought about having an affair… I think we both knew that was the wrong choice in this situation from the start. I never meant to fall so hard for him… but to tell you the truth, I have never been able to look in someones eyes the way I could look into his… the feeling it gave me was exhilarating… a feeling I was lacking in life. But, other than a few friendly hugs, nothing else has ever happened. No phone calls back and forth, no texts back and forth, nothing… we were on our best behavior when it came to that as well. We are not talking… the only time I see him is when she lets me and lately him and I seem to have had a fallen out, he won’t even hardly look at me anymore. But of course I was used to him having his eyes on mine most of the time so I guess I might miss that a bit… yes I am guilty of enjoying his attention. I enjoyed playing back the memories until I remembered. It drove me crazy at times but it taught me a lot. I know what I know, but I don’t know how this story ends. And I am sorry if me opening my big mouth , causing this avalanche ever happened… I just thought it was what I was suppose to do… I was guilty of being overly emotionally fucked by him and I didn’t know what to do.
