Every time I think things are ok, I realize they’re not. You’re still talking to ‘her’, you’re going to continue to talk to her and not only do I not like that, I deserve better. Now I realize that, yes, the minute I get enough money, I’m leaving you. And that’s the ONLY thing that’s holding me back. I love you but what’s that got to do with feeling like shit all the time? In fact, I’m just going to step out of the way and let you two have each other. I’m sure you’ll insist that’s not what you want; but in all honesty, if I was what you want, you wouldn’t be talking to her knowing it makes me uncomfortable. You do it BECAUSE you know it makes me uncomfortable. You get a kick out of being ‘naughty’. Well, it won’t be naughty if there’s no one you’re betraying, now will it? I hate you. Here you are complaining that you’ve never trusted anyone and also saying I am someone you see as being able to trust because I’m a ‘good girl’. But in the meanwhile, you’re not going to be trustworthy yourself. It’s still going to be ME not being able to hang out with friends I’ve known for 20 years because they have a penis while you chat up an ex-girlfriend that you wish you had never given up. Well, I won’t stand in the way. And that will upset you. Look, all you want me around for is the familiarity. I’ve already talked to you about this. So now I guess I will talk to HER about this. And you’ll hate me for screwing up your mojo but I feel like doing it. I don’t know what will come of it but you’re not going to play me. Hope that addiction to being naughty was worth it. I’m a good woman, R. But too good for you and I need to be with someone who deserves me. Or just go it alone- because it’s better to be alone than in bad company. And you’re not good company. You make me feel like shit.
