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My sister-in-law and brother-in-law are whiny, dependent jerks who are incapable of caring for themselves – yet they have two small children. My BIL lost his job and didn’t bother to look for another, instead entering school for an incredibly pointless degree in a field that has few job openings for new grads. He seems to think that his future is made for him because of some start-up company that a friend is currently running in his basement. Naturally, these morons purposely decided to have a third baby right now. Stellar timing.

My SIL has health insurance through her work, but it’s “too expensive,” so the kids are on state health insurance provided through a program for low-income kids. Their new (and planned!) child will be on Medicaid. Both my BIL and SIL have brand-new iPhones. My SIL has regular massages, and my BIL never passes on seeing new release movies, buying new DVDs weekly, and the kids get toys all the time. But health insurance is “too expensive” and state-based aid is necessary to maintain their lifestyle. My MIL babysits the kids for free every day – whether my BIL is in school or not, and oftentimes whether SIL is working or not. She also often takes one of the kids alone because “two kids are tough for [BIL and SIL] to handle.” Yet, BIL very snottily bitched at us about the possibility of taking our son – who spends a weekend or so every 6-8 weeks with his grandparents – to MIL’s house for spring break because their baby might come during that time and they need MIL to watch the kids. Oh, and SIL needs mommy there during the birth. She apparently can’t do it on her own, despite having done it twice before. BIL said this several months ago, before my husband and I even suggested the possibility of our son going over there during spring break. Oh, and we were “selfish” too for not finding other arrangements for our son. Unbelievable.

My SIL has had very easy, painless births with her older children. But for this birth, I hope she has an excruciatingly painful, lengthy labor. I hope after three hours of pushing, the baby will not budge and she needs a c-section. I hope SIL has a horrific, painful recovery from the c-section. I hope she’s a total wuss about the pain. I hope she has crushing post-partum depression, I hope she can’t nurse her baby, and I hope her older two children adapt very poorly to the new baby and start acting out. I hope my BIL acts like his usual pissy self and is useless in helping her.

Then I hope she (unexpectedly) gets pregnant again six weeks after the birth. I hope they must sell the phones, cancel the wi-fi, get rid of the cable, and are forced to take no vacations, not eat out, and not buy anything but the most basic essentials until all their children are in school. I hope my BIL is forced to take a crappy job with his worthless degree just so he can finally act like an adult instead of a fifteen year old. I don’t want anyone – their kids in particular, who are innocent – to be hurt in this. But a bit of austerity, a touch of mild suffering, and some denial actually does limit misplaced feelings of entitlement and build character. These two could obviously use some of that.