Well… I just gave a stranger a bj for only $25. Just to put gas in my car. I’m supposed to meet up with someone else tomorrow, and someone wants me to have sex w/ them for some money. Guess what, I claim to be a Christian!!! I do want to serve God and etc., but I am in a financial mess. I am really stuck and I blame myself. I really see myself as a failure. I am trying to have faith and do the right thing but it’s really hard. I guess I’m gonna have to stay away from these dudes for a while. My double life is one of the many reasons people do not take God seriously. I am really sorry, my actions were so screwed up. If I did not believe in heaven and hell… I would take my life. Also, I still have hope that things will get better … but I just don’t see it. I keep messing up. I just want to do better, or at least get something right.
