I mistrust women so much, I can’t be in a relationship with a woman I’m attracted to. If her leaving me would hurt, I subconsciously run her away first. I don’t trust women, and that makes me untrustworthy. I am so scared of women abandoning me, that I abandon them.
I can’t connect emotionally because of my fear of abandonment. It’s more like a certainty of abandonment. I can’t be real. I’m scared all the time. I overthink everything.
Consequently, I routinely have brief, painful, sex excursions that are extremely unsatisfying with women that I am barely attracted to. I do this once or twice a year, and only when I’m really horny.
I want to stop hurting women, and I want to be able to love a woman, but I don’t know how.
Reading all these confessions of women’s infidelity on here just makes it more certain that women can’t be trusted.